: ‘My Mother Said She Wished I Was Dead’: 50-YO Authors Coming Out Story Inspires Movie #IndiaNEWS #Bollywood For Raga Olga D’Silva, ‘50’ is a special number. “I’ve decided to be 50 for

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‘My Mother Said She Wished I Was Dead’: 50-YO Authors Coming Out Story Inspires Movie #IndiaNEWS #Bollywood
For Raga Olga D’Silva, ‘50’ is a special number. “I’ve decided to be 50 for the rest of my life,�? she laughs. “It’s a very significant age. This is when I decided that enough was enough. �?
In 2019, Raga came out as a lesbian through her book Untold Lies (2019). This is a collection of stories and poems that bind seamlessly to narrate her struggles with her own identity, and how, as her Instagram handle says, she is “totally out now�?. Earlier this year, director Onir, who has made films like I Am (2010) and My Brother Nikhil (2005), announced that he will be adapting Raga’s story for a movie he’s working on.
In conversation with The Better India, Raga talks about how a simple Mangalorean girl’s life was chosen to be displayed on the big screen, and what challenges she had to overcome along the way.
Raga came out through her book, Untold Lies, in 2019 (Source: Raga Olga DSilva)
‘Looking over my shoulder’
“They say that for women to make changes in their life, they need to be financially independent,�? she says. “I have been financially independent all my life, but even then, coming out was difficult. For any woman to make changes in her relationships is still a massive challenge. �?
Raga grew up in Kherwadi in Bandra, Mumbai, in a traditional Mangalorean household as the youngest of three children. Her father passed away when she was six years old, leaving her mother in-charge of all responsibilities.
Amid tough times, Raga looked forward to going to school, and loved reading so much that often, she would sit beside the local chana waala and collect the newspapers used to serve the peanuts to read the stories written inside. A simple love for storytelling was ever present, and she worked tirelessly to break the cycle of poverty and realise her dream.
Meanwhile, she notes that in the 70s and 80s, there were no reference points of the lived experiences of the LGBTQ community. “In fact, until the 90s, my perception was that ‘gay’ was used only for a man, or to denote happiness. People would use the term ‘homos’, which was extremely derogatory. I never even thought that two women could love each other,�? she says.
She adds, “In my 20s, I fell deeply in love with a woman, but I thought it was a passing phase and something that was not normal. �?
So in 1995, Raga married her best friend. The two later had twins. For a while, things seemed to be going well. But when the family moved to New Zealand in 2002, Raga’s marriage began to break down. To cope with the massive changes taking place in her familial life and within her own heart, she penned a letter to a friend, in which she wrote about the difficult period she was going through, and how she was considering dating women, something that she had thought about all her life.

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